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Validating vs invalidating employees

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Connection to others and being accepted is at the core of belonging.And being validated by others is an integral part of having these needs met. It is being present and supportive of another’s experience, by acknowledging their thoughts and feelings without attempting to change them. Appreciating emotional states of others however hinges on the capacity for empathy.

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Letting things & people be without the need to change them is not something the narc can do.In this piece we expose why they do it, and how to spot it in action.Keep your eyes peeled for part two, where the focus will shift to how it impacts on you, and how to narc-proof yourself for the future through self-validation.Invalidation can be overt as is typical in aggressive bullying tactics. Gaslighting is a prime example of just how sneaky invalidation can be.If a resounding ‘yes’ arose for you in feeling invisible and worthless because of the narc’s abuse, you know, from experience, how bereft the absence of validation leaves you, and how very central it is to your survival.However, anyone who does not support this view is rejected, devalued and assigned the ‘all bad’ label.

This stunted and polarised thinking of the pathological narcissist is actually quite simple once decoded (albeit completely illogical and disordered, of course).

In being validated we feel accepted by others and we also accept ourselves. Invalidation is the product of an absence of empathy, hence being a natural space for the pathological narcissist to operate from.

It is the act of purposefully denying, rejecting, minimising, negatively judging, and/or ignoring your expressed experience, thoughts, actions, or emotions.

As human beings, we have basic needs, to be loved and to belong.

These social needs are just as essential as other survival needs like food, shelter, and safety.

Like you are entirely worthless and just don’t matter?