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But with these skills, you will model to your son that while girls may come and go, he will always have your support.In addition to falling into the trap of problem solving, parents and friends can often go too far throwing an “ex bash”. I thought she was pretty selfish anyway.”As true as it might be, the last thing that your son wants to hear in the beginning stages of a high school breakup is that he should work to move on.I can’t tell you how many times my mom used to tell me what a loser my ex was, only to regret it months later when we got back together. ” In contrast, a statement to avoid might be, “I’m sorry, but there are many fish in the sea. In time he will figure out when moving on is right for him.Before trying to solving the issue at hand, I recommend acknowledging his pain and telling him that you are here for him. What is a plus here is that you might have experienced heartbreak yourself before, so your awareness of how difficult it is will likely create a sense of relief for him right off the bat.In the validation process, stick to focusing on your son’s feelings rather than on the ex.An example of how validation might sound without bashing or problem solving could be something like, “It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain right now. Another great thing you can do is help to find healthy distractions for your son to get him through the heartbreak in the short term.
Make sure he is hanging out with positive peer supports.
When it is time to chat about college, remind him that even if he was still with his girlfriend, this would be a time of transition.
His goal would be to make new friends, get adjusted, and settle into classes and activities that make him happy.
Over time, you will start to notice when it is more appropriate to engage in more depth with his questions about starting college in the fall.
And you might even begin to bring it up as a way of preparing him for what’s to come.
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