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And the first date is simply too soon to be asking about this.
There are usually two kinds of first date: The ones that flow magically—where the time passes so effortlessly that the restaurant has to remind you that they’re closing—and the ones that are… Obviously, the first type of initial meeting is ideal, but a less graceful first encounter doesn’t necessarily mean all hope is lost.“You can compliment something without wanting to qualify it with a price.” Even when you’re a relationship, if you have separate finances you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell your partner the price of something you spend your own money on—in fact, it’s one of the 13 secrets you should always keep from your partner.This question implies a more intimate question: Are you having sex with anyone else?If someone wants you to know about their race or religion, they’ll tell you.“Trust me, a date appreciates it when you’ve made plans,” says Headlee.“Though this might sound cute, it can come off as strange to your date,” says Candice A, a certified matchmaker and dating coach at Toronto Wingwoman.
After all, they might start to wonder why you’re meeting so many crazy people in the first place.
“If you ask where they want to eat, it often sounds like you’ve put no thought or preparation into that all-important first date.” If you’re not going to set a destination before meeting up, at least come armed with some options and ask what they’d prefer.
This is maybe seen as an endearingly awkward comment, but it can come off badly.
If you’re using this language to ask a person about their race or ethnicity, maybe don’t.
“Newsflash: We are all humans,” says Michelle G, a certified matchmaker and dating coach.
And so many times, the topic comes up organically.” It might seem like asking this up front could save you some time, but it can backfire.